Structural Approach

Life is fluid.

That fluidity creates ambiguity, uncertainty, confusion and loss of direction. The solution to fluidity problem, in engineering, as well as in life, is to put in structure. Just like civil engineers put up structure to fix the positions of beams, wall and floors, structure in our lives fix many aspects of our lives: time, space, social interactions, as well as other aspects of our activities.

The way structures work is quite simple: it limits choices – time, space, people and ways of doing things.

What? In this age of freedom of choice, who want to limit choices? You say.

Wait, please hold your horse. Let’s not get into the negative sides of structure. You probably will appreciate its values as you starting to see my points.

In fact, structure is very much in all aspects of your life: (1) you are in a family structure. That limits what you can and should do to your parents, children, etc. Their expectations towards you is quite firmed up; so are your expectations toward them. You have promised (if not vowed) to your spouse that you won’t do something that will destroy your relationship. So your family function properly. (2) You are in an organization, a company. Your role is prescribed. Your deliverables are specified. Your working hours are stipulated in the employees’ handbook. You follow the Do’s and Don’ts of the company. (3) You probably have promised your priest or master that you will be a religious person. You won’t kill, steal, lie, commit adultery, drink, smoke, etc. This community structure keeps you being good.

So do you still think structure is no good?

Yet, you may say, we need freedom.

Fair enough, but you need to do it wisely. How?

You use structure to your advantage. Here are few ways that I have done it and I find it useful to help me:

1. When I wanted to become a vegetarian, I simply told everyone I know that I will do it. I established a structure of expectations. So becoming vegetarian was never a struggle. You can use this structure if you want to quit smoking, gambling, or any other kind of small or big vices
2. I got married early. I cemented the commitment from my wife. Therefore eliminating major sources of doubts that we are not meant for each other. Then we focused on building our family and bringing up our next generation.
3. When I decided to go for my doctoral study. I told my lecturer, friends, family members. I told them them when I am going to start, what will ensue and what kind of support I need from them. I set off the journey and completed the study. I survived because I have put in the structure.

In fact there is an entire discipline of applying structure to organizations, called organization theory. It is a boring subject, really. I studied it, and even taught it. It is only when I apply to my personal life, the meaning of structure comes to life.